November 4, 2010

My new husband...

Ladies and Gentleman... i would like to introduce you to my latest obsession. I'm concerned for my health and i am sure that you can see why.

This dude is Jon Kortajarena and if you hadn't guessed it, he's a male model...ranked number 8 in the World don't you know. I think that i love him.

You may have seen him gracing the walls of H & M and i heard rumours that he dated Madonna. Seriously, say what you will about Mads. She may have creepy veiny arms and be slightly frightening but she has AMAZING taste in men and if i was in her shoes, i too would abuse my status to date young, impressionable, male models. Who wouldn't?

Anyway, let me explain to you just how far my little obsession has gone...

I live by a H & M shop where there are lifesized posters of Mr Kortajarena. That's right - lifesized. If i stand close enough, it's like he's actually there. Only problem is that i have to spend a lot of time hanging out in the male section and seeing as i'm there without a man, i just look suspicious. I have tried standing in the womans section and just peering round to take a peek but that just makes me look even weirder. Also, taking photos of photos of men isn't exactly normal behaviour and when i asked the assistant what they do with the posters after they are done, she just looked at me like i was mental. I just think that she wants them for herself.

Up until about a month ago, i had never heard of this guy and then i was walking along and he was there, 10ft tall on the back of a bus. That's the day my life changed forever.... well maybe that's a bit over the top.

Now, i'm not fooling myself. I know that it will never happen but just in case, i have popped a picture of him looking as dashing as ever on my fridge so that every time i feel a bit peckish and head for the fridge. I look at him and think 'maybe you shouldn't eat that Amy' and then he smiles at me and the world is right again.

Don't worry too much, it hasn't quite reached the stage of me doctoring photos of him so that i can be in them too but i assure you that this is not because i don't want to, it's because i lack the technical know-how. Sad, i know.

I don't know what it is about him that i like so much, maybe its the chiselled jaw, or the big brown eyes, the fact that he is Spanish or maybe its because he describes himself on his website as 'the ultimate romantic' (that's right, i went on the website) or maybe it's because he is the exact polar opposite of my rubbish ex-boyfriend but whatever it is, it's working.

Now i just need to hatch some world-class plan to get him to fall in love with me.... any suggestions? Maybe step one would be to stop being so creepy. I can't make any promises.

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