I pretty sure that the majority of people reading this would have heard of or watched Lost – the TV programme about beautiful people who were involved in a plane crash and miraculously survived and went on to experience weird and wonderful things.
Well, I am currently sat waiting to catch a flight from Perth, Western Australia to London and I’ve been looking at my fellow passengers and I am not best pleased. Everyone looks far too normal for my liking. Now in Lost everyone is beautiful. In reality – I can see one guy who I would contemplate talking to on a weekend if I had consumed way too much sambuca but apart from that would probably cross the road to avoid. If – god forbid – my flight crashed and I was stranded on a desert island with these people I think that I would be pretty unimpressed. Also, there are way too many small children and babies – they would be no use in a plane crash. I know this is mean but unless they are a world class cub scout then I don’t want them on my desert island – they would require way too much looking after. There’s one child in Lost – seems too convenient.
I think that they should introduce some form of screening for long haul flights so that you can ensure that the flight you are on has at least one of the following:
* a handsome, athletic surgeon who knows how to navigate their way around unmapped territory as though he is walking around the park. Just in case.
* one hot blond, brunette and maybe a red head and a hot asian lady so that all tastes are catered to in the woman department.
* some haunted soul who has a secret that despite our best efforts we will not discover until the last episode but which hints at danger and all round mischief.
* someone who understands technology and coincidentally knows how to fly a plane, kill a man with one hand and operate a submarine.
* a loveable rogue.
As my fellow passengers all look pretty boring I am backing myself for the loveable rogue character. But, really I just hope our plane doesn’t crash and then this wont be a problem and I will have just wasted my time thinking about it and yours by making you read this… sorry.