November 16, 2009

My Nemesis!

I fear that my time at the sweet shop may have drawn closer to an end. “At last!” I hear you cry. There have been developments and they aren’t necessarily positive. I’ll give you a little bit of background so that this doesn’t come out of nowhere. My boss and me don’t get along. To say that we hate each other would be a major understatement. I would compare the feud between us to that of Biggie and Tupac although no way near as cool and hopefully our feud wont end with one of us getting shot. Well atleast, not me getting shot. Imagine the amount that Janice in ‘Friends’ irritates Chandler. Well multiply that by 1000% and you’ve got how much I cant stand my boss.

I admit that I can be petty and I have gone as far as sticking my fingers up at him behind his back and mimicking his way of talking. I’m not claiming to be mature and I am in no way the bigger man in this situation. There, I said it. I’m a bad person.

Well, last week he asked to have ‘a word’ with me. Ominous. He sat me down and informed me that the security cameras have audio and he had been listening to everything that my colleagues and I had been saying about him. Oh fucking dear. Not good. Needless to say, I wasn’t expecting it and when he told me I actually sniggered. What a bitch. It was out of shock I assure you. He had heard some bad stuff i.e. us discussing how inept he would be in the bedroom and how he would no doubt sweat excessively and no doubt be (to quote myself) ‘absolutely disgusting and totally shit’ we also mused on the fact that this is probably the reason why his girlfriend never smiles .Not the kind of thing that you want anyone to hear you say or hear about yourself. This explained why he hated me so much!

As I have said before I felt bad but his behaviour since this revelation has been all negative. After he broke the news, he pointed at me in the face and says “this bitchy chit-chat needs to fucking stop’. Say what now Manager? Surely he would try and resolve the issue rather than make it worse. I responded the only way I know how – sarcastically. (What can I say? I’m English – its what we do best) So I said “of course, I understand it isn’t professional, I’ll stop talking about you like that….at work”. I don’t know what it is about me, but I’m stubborn and no-one should point in someone else’s face. He just fuelled the flames of hatred further.

The latest development is that he sacked my two fellow conspirators and now it is just me, alone, with all the other employees. One of which is his girlfriend who heard everything too. As I said earlier, I wasn’t that nice about her either. So, needless to say it is not the best situation, work is not fun. You can practically hear the wind whistling and the tumbleweed blowing across the shop floor whenever I go into work. Think its time that I move on. Oh, the pickles I get myself into with my big ass mouth!

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