So today – on a scale of 1- 10 was not a good day. I’d rate it an 8 on average with a 3 second episode which made it a -4. Let me continue. I awoke this morning with a minor hangover following a few too many ciders and a few unidentified hot pink drinks which were delicious at the time but in hindsight probably just did me internal damage. I was hungry and ratty and I realised as I watched repeats of “Sex and the City” (perfect hangover viewing) that the only cure was strong coffee and greasy food.
I live very close to the high street and I estimated that the round trip to get stodge and caffeine would take me 6 minutes max, not too bad, so I left the house in a pair of shorts that I would never normally venture out in. BIG MISTAKE. They are too big and fall down a lot. They have boats on them though so you can see why I would want to continue wearing them despite their obvious downfalls.
I ordered my much needed sustenance and kind of stared into space while I waited for it. There was a copy of the much loved children’s book “The Very Hungry Caterpillar” which kept me entertained for about 20 seconds and I am going to blame it for taking my mind off the task at hand. Before I knew it I had my food and coffee and was good to go.
In order to carry my goodies I had to put my possessions (keys, wallet and phone) in the pockets of my far too big shorts. Before I knew it, I was standing in the middle of potentially the busiest street in Perth with my far too big boat shorts around my knees and my hot pink granny pants on display to one and all. Yes you heard me right. Not my finest hour.
To add insult to injury I had my hands full so I couldn’t immediately pull them up. To say it was embarrassing is a total understatement. I was hungover, disorientated and exposing myself. I swear that a passing dog walker actually tutted me as though this was something that I was doing deliberately. As though when I ventured out this morning my “To-Do List” read; get coffee, get food, flash my pants to the general public, pop home and die of shame. If this was indeed my “To-Do List” then I nailed it in an impressive 6 minutes. Could be a record.
Now that I am over the initial embarrassment I hope that I bought some amusement to those people out for breakfast at the busy café that it occurred outside. If I had seen that whilst chowing down on my bacon and eggs, it would have made my day. I am just grateful for the fact that I was wearing dark glasses, my hair was not in its normal style (it was resembling a birds nest) and that I am fast because my shorts were up and I was gone in about 2.3 seconds. Hopefully all the people would have seen was a flash of pink and a girl disappearing at pace around the corner kind of laughing to herself in disbelief. Why do these things only happen to me when I am on my own and have no-one to laugh with it about? I am going to make sure I check the newspapers this week because considering that nothing interesting ever happens in Perth – this could be breaking news and I could be famous as we speak!