May 14, 2010

Someone get the girl another drink!

I was at a nightclub this weekend and whilst standing waiting at the bar crushed between girls being too loud and guys trying to look down your top - I got to thinking. Granted not the usual activity done on a Saturday night in a nightclub. This demonstrated that clearly I had not drunk enough. Hence why I was standing at the bar. Something caught my eye though – the Cloak Room!

Random I know, I should probably have been trying to check out the potential hotties that were in the same queue as me but I wasn’t interested. My mind wandered and I started thinking about how old fashioned it is to call a cloak room a cloak room. I mean, who wears a cloak nowadays? I suppose that there is Dracula or Harry Potter or perhaps even Sherlock Holmes but I didn’t see any of them standing at the bar. What a shame! That would have made for some interesting conversation!

This caused me to consider the fact that Harry Potter could in fact be in the nightclub and I would be none the wiser because Harry has the ultimate cloak, the Rolls Royce of the cloak world. The Invisibility Cloak! Wow. In actual fact Harry Potter could be standing right next to me and I wouldn’t know. This in turn resulted in me doing a little twirl to see whether anything out of the ordinary was happening in the immediate vicinity. Unsurprisingly, I didn’t spot anything. Not really surprising really seeing as it would be a pretty crappy invisibility cloak if a slightly drunk girl could see you. That’s probably when I decided that there was no need to stand in the queue because I was clearly drunk enough.

I returned to the dance floor but couldn’t stop thinking about how awesome it would be if everyone in the club were in fact people who wear cloaks! i.e Superheroes. They would be way more interesting than the group of sweaty open shirted men on a stag do who insisted on dancing so close to me and my friends!

I reckon that if you were a superhero you would have way better chat up lines than any of the general public. Obviously there would be no need to even chat people up because you could simply use your mind control methods to persuade people to kiss you or freeze people with your laser vision and cop a feel. Oh how much more simple trying to pull someone would be if you had super powers!

Imagine the chat up lines:

Hey my name’s superman – I can make you fly…, no, I actually can


If I move that chair with my mind, will you come home with me tonight? Ok done!”

How about:

Need a light” and then they would use their fire hands to light your cigarette!

AMAZING. Humans would not stand a chance.

I know that it makes me sound terribly slutty but all of the above would work on me. I mean, who wouldn’t fancy a superhero. Plus, superheroes are generally pretty hot. Fact. Maybe with the exception of that dude from the Fantastic 4 who’s orange. He’s not really my type.

So basically, if there was a nightclub which only allowed people in who wore actual cloaks, I’m pretty sure that it would be way more of an interesting place than the club that I was in in Newquay. But I suppose if you were in a nightclub full of wizards, witches, superheroes and detectives then it would be way more dangerous than your average nightspot.

So in conclusion, I think that its misleading to call it a cloak room where there are in actual fact no cloaks in there. They should call it a coat room and be done with it.

At that stage, my friend handed me another drink and I quickly forgot about superheroes and cloaks! Probably for the best!


  1. It would be utterly amazing had Harry Potter in fact been standing next to you in the club with the invisibility cloak on.

    How amazing. :)

  2. Ah, you Brits. Even in Canada, with the out of date monarchy technically as our head of state too, we have evolved to transform the 'cloak room' into the 'coat check'. Less romantic, but it allows us to not be distracted while in line for a beverage.

    Our superhero clubs have neither. Rather they have "leotard repositories of power and doom" and the clubs are super-swinger venues (superheroes actually play it pretty fast and loose).

    They are so cool and powerful that Harry Potter is not even allowed to peek in...

  3. I like the way your mind works.

    I found you through Living' the Dream. I read your story. It was hilarious. I hope that guy is a blogger and reads it.

    I did a post about capes awhile ago. You might enjoy it.